


In This Together

by xsilverwolfx



Series: Transformers Prime [1]
Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Depression, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Love, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:02:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23654311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xsilverwolfx/pseuds/xsilverwolfx
Summary: Collection of Optimus Prime x Reader stories that were originally on my deviantART account now I'm moving here.
Relationships: Optimus Prime/Female Reader, Optimus Prime/Reader, Optimus Prime/You
Series: Transformers Prime [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703089
Comments: 6
Kudos: 95





	1. Try

“How is it looking under there coz?” Jack asks.

Rolling out from underneath Bumblebee I get off of the creeper and wipe the grease from my hands.

“Bumblebee should enjoy the new oil change and I topped off his fluids.Now I don’t know how Cybertronions work, but I know cars.”

Bumblebee transforms and assesses the work I’ve done; making numerous beeping sounds he gives me a thumbs up.

“I’ll take that as I did a good job,” I smile.

My phone began buzzing and I reach into my pocket to see who it was but I silence the call then stuff it back into my pocket.

“Who was that?” Jack inquires.

“No one.”

My phone rings again.Rolling my eyes I hang up the call.

“Doesn’t sound like no one,” Jack crosses his arms.

“I’m sorry, who is the adult here?” I quip.

“Ooo, is it that guy you went out for coffee with?!” Miko pipes up.

“You went on a date and didn’t tell me?!”

“Jack,” I pinch his cheek, “it wasn’t a date it was coffee.”

“Same thing.”

“Miko please,” I grit my teeth.

“What you just don’t want a certain someone to know.”

“Shh!” I shush her.“It’s not important, just let it go.”

“Hey (Y/N),” Arcee calls.“You think you can top me off after we get back from Recon?”

“Sure,” I shrug my shoulders while turning my back to the kids.“I think you’re due for a oil change, and brakes.”

“It’s nice to have another mechanic around, don’t you think Ratchet?” Raf asks.

“Hmph,” Ratchet huffs.“She is still unaware of the intricate design of Cybertronion mechanics.Her skills will do for the time being.”

Raf tilts his head.

“Raf,” I gain his attention, “that’s his way of saying thank you.”

“And thankful we are,” Optimus walks in.

“Oh,” I shy away, “hey Optimus.I think I’m gonna make a food run, by the time you guys get back from Recon I’ll be back to assess your engine Arcee.”

“We’ll be back soon, Optimus why don’t you take (Y/N) on a food run?” Arcee suggests.

I whip my head towards her and give her the stink eye.How dare she try to get me alone with Optimus!I tried to hide my blush by slinging on my jacket and pulling the collar up.

“I think I can manage Arcee, I mean isn’t Optimus on the mission with you guys?”

“Nah, we got this recon in the bag,” Bulkhead shrugs then approaches the ground bridge.

“I don’t mind driving you (Y/N).”

“See Optimus will take you,” Arcee eggs on.

“I could re-wire you,” I mutter.

“What was that?” Jack asks.

“Nothing.Any requests for dinner?”

“Pizza/sushi,” the kids pipe up.

“Okay, so since we are undecided, I will choose and you all can bet on what I get.”

“Oh losers do my homework!” Miko exclaims.

“(Y/N) please do me a favor,” Jack groans.

“Let’s go Optimus, before they start begging.”

Optimus transforms into his alt mode and opens his door.I climb into the drivers seat and his seatbelt comes to latch me in.He starts driving down the road and I, unknowingly, begin to draw circles around the steering wheel; when I’m nervous I fidget a lot.

“Is there something the matter (Y/N)?”

“Hm,” I blink, “oh nothing.Just thinking, nothing important.”

“If you need to talk about something, my audio receptors are available.”

I feel myself smile as I lean against the steering wheel.He’s so understanding, caring, and brave…oh who a I kidding?I fell in love with a Cybertronion robot and I can’t have him.

“(Y/N)?”

“Sorry, I spaced out for a minute.”

He pauses for a moment, but tries to switch the subject.“We have arrived in the city, which food place would you like for me to take you?”

“Um…I guess the pizza place.Can’t have Miko making Raf do her homework.”

“I agree.”

Optimus turns the corner a little sharply but I feel the seat belt tighten slightly holding me in place.

“Sorry about the sharp turn.”

“It’s fine Optimus, I trust you.”

I heard him hum slightly through the radio as we pull up to the pizza parlor.I get out of his cab then go inside to order the pizzas then head back to Optimus and get in.Once I strap in Optimus starts to drive back to base and we are stuck in the same awkward silence.My phone continues to buzz from that guy I went to coffee with and I silence it again.Suddenly I feel him slow down.

“Optimus?”

“Forgive me, I was pondering my own thoughts for a moment.”

“Don’t be sorry for anything,” I tap the wheel.

“It seems that someone really wants to catch your attention.”

“Eh, it’s not important.”

“Perhaps it might be since the person is so persistent.Miko and Raf mentioned before that you and someone spent some time together.”

“Yeah that…don’t worry about it.It’s not serious at all.”

Again, Optimus fell silent while we made the silent drive back to base.It felt like the phone call made him uncomfortable.Man I didn’t want this to happen, Optimus is my best friend I don’t want things to become awkward between us.I shouldn’t have went out with that guy; I wish Miko didn’t have a big mouth.

“(Y/N), it is alright to feel a connection with someone else,” he says.

“There was no connection at all.In fact he’s wasn’t really my type; especially since he keeps spamming my phone.”

He chuckles, “Yes that can become quite unsatisfactory.”

“Yeah,” I laugh along.“Anyway I don’t need a boyfriend or someone right now.It would distract me from kicking Decepticon aft with you guys.Who else is going to be on standby to tune you guys up?”

“We definitely appreciate your efforts in aiding our cause against the Decepticons.”

“You appreciate me?” I ponder while drawing circles on the wheel.

“Very much so.I…”

I wait for him to finish his sentence; I really hope that it’s not a glitch in the radio.Before I could press to hear what he would say we arrive back at base.Patting the wheel I grab the pizza and climb out of the cab.Optimus transforms into his regular form and watches as I walk over to the hangout area on the platform and deliver the pizza.

“Pizza!” the boys cheer.

“No!”

“Do your own homework Miko,” I smirk while taking a slice.

“Tell Optimus your feelings and I will,” she mutters.

“Stop it,” I shush her.

“Oh come on, it’s obvious you have the hots for him.”

“Miko, you just need to worry about getting your done homework instead of adult issues.Optimus and I are fine as friends.”

“Really?Is that why you keep avoiding the coffee date guy?You don’t secretly hope that Optimus will say he feels the same and then you both can figure out how to make this work since ya know, you two aren’t the same species?”

“What are you guys talking about?” Raf asks.

“Cramping, bloating you know the stuff—”

“Never mind!” both boys turn away to focus on the TV.

“Nice save,” Miko smirks.

“Had to think fast.”

“Now, think fast about Optimus.”

“Think fast about what now?” Arcee walks up behind us.

“Nothing,” I brush it off.“Ready for the tune up?”

“I’m ready for my diagnosis.”

Arcee transforms into her alt mode and I come down from the platform to tune her up.After assessing her systems to the best of my ability for her tech I then proceed to do the oil change.While working in the distance I watch Optimus working with Ratchet on some contraption and every time I see his cerulean optics scan over something interesting I envision him looking at me with adoration.

“He does care about you ya know,” Arcee says.

“He cares about everyone Arcee.He only sees me as a friend, like how you and Jack are, which I greatly appreciate how you lookout for my little cousin.”

“Anytime.But seriously, you should really talk to Optimus about it.I mean I know he keeps his emotions in check, but I’ll tell you, he was kind’ve hurt about you going on that coffee date.”

“It’s not nice to play with my emotions Arcee.”

“You never know unless you try; if anything and he doesn’t have the same feelings, he will never stop being your friend.”

Sighing while cleaning up my tools Arcee turns back into her normal form and stretching herself out.

“Hey thanks, I feel great.”

“You’re welcome,” I smile.“It’s getting late, I should probably get going.I’ve got a training session tomorrow with Fowler.Jack!”

“Yeah?”

“You get ready to go, I don’t want Aunt June blowing up my phone about why you aren’t home.”

“Alright alright, later guys.”

“Actually it’s time for you all to head on home, isn’t it a school night?” Ratchet mentions.

“School schmool,” Miko groans.

“Come on little missy,” Bulkhead encourages, “you are DJ tonight.”

“Awesome!”

Bumblebee does his beeping sounds and I’m assuming that he’s telling Raf that it’s time to go home too.After I put all of my tools away Optimus steps behind me then kneels down.

“Do you require a lift home?”

“You sure?I can catch a ride back with Jack.”

Arcee and Jack speed off at that moment.I mentally roll my eyes knowing that she overheard and took off as soon as possible.

“Nevermind they’re gone.I think I’ll need that ride.”

Optimus nods before standing up then transforming into his alt mode once more.I climb into the cab and strap in then he takes off making his way to my house.I reach over then turn on the radio to (favorite station).It’s not something I normally do in Optimus but I thought it would cut the awkwardness.I lean against the window and observe the bright stars that are out tonight as he drives on. 

Suddenly, the song ‘We Belong Together’ by Mariah Carey came on and I debate whether to change it or risk it playing because if I change it quickly Optimus might ask about it.Deciding to let it play I follow the words and envision Optimus in some way willing to take me as his, regardless of our species.Closing my eyes I try to envision Optimus as a human: tall and broad physique, blue hair obviously, bright blue eyes, strong jawline.If only…

“(Y/N),” Optimus speaks.

“Hm?” I open my eyes.

“We have arrived.”

“Oh yeah, sorry I nodded off for a bit.”

“It’s quite alright, I would rather you get some rest at home than in a truck cab.You might get uncomfortable.”

“Trust me big guy, I’m comfortable.But I don’t think you would appreciate me crashing in your cab.”

Surprisingly, Optimus didn’t have an answer for what I just said.I shift awkwardly before I reach for the door handle but stop myself.

“Optimus?”

“Yes?”

“You know when you said it’s okay to have a connection with someone?”

“Yes.”

“What if I didn’t want to have a connection with someone…but with some-bot?”

Optimus fell silent again, but this time my heart was racing not knowing what he would say.I was praying that he wouldn’t tell me that he never wants to see me again.

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but could you please say something?I’m really nervous.”

“As am I.”

Suddenly the driver’s door opened and I got out allowing Optimus to transform into his pede form.He kneels down and extends his servo to me, and I step onto it then he raises me to his face.Though I was afraid of what he was going to say or do, I couldn’t bring myself to look away from his peering optics.No one said a word in what felt like hours, my breathing began to quicken anticipating what would happen next.

“(Y/N)…I’ve thought about this myself—”

“Optimus,” I interrupt quickly, “if you’re going to reject me then I’m okay with that.I just don’t want to lose my friend.”

“You could never lose me,” he stops my rambling.“Listen…I don’t want you to be in danger because of me.”

Gently I reach out and place my hand on his cool face plate testing the waters on if he would let me touch him in a caring way.

“When has that ever mattered to me?It’s our line of work Optimus.”

He hums while tilting his head slightly to the touch of my hand.I’m unsure if their body formation has nervous sensors, but I could only hope so he could feel the warmth from me.

“I…” he mutters.“I want to try (Y/N).”

“Me too,” I smile.

Feeling those butterflies in my stomach I decide to be bold so I lean in quickly to peck his face plate.I linger for a few seconds before pulling away and smiling at Optimus.A small smile graces his lip components as he leans forward and we lean our foreheads against one another.

“I should go,” he mutters.“I can’t be caught out like this.”

“I understand.”

Optimus gently sets me down then transforms into his alt mode.I pat the grille then put my hands in my pockets.

“See ya tomorrow big guy.”

“Until then.”

Optimus drives off back to the base while I go into my house, but when I shut the door I lean against it.Smiling to myself I feel so happy that we will give this a try regardless of our differences.

“Thank you Primus.”


	2. Sacrifices We Make

Optimus and I were lying on a hillside watching the stars relishing in each other’s presence.I was lying back against Optimus’ chassis while he spoke of his home planet and how the stars there looked slightly different.The enthusiasm he shows when talking of his home planet is truly a sight to see.I think the only other bot that’s seen him this way is Ratchet.

“Optimus?”

“Hm?”

“Would I ever be able to go to Cybertron?”

“You wish…to go?”

“Yeah I mean, I would like to see where you come from.I know you said it’s not inhabitable right now, but still you’ve seen my planet, I want to see yours.”

“Maybe someday, when it’s safer.”

Flipping over I lean on my arm then draw circles on the windshield over his chassis.It’s times like these I get to see his softer side, a side he rarely shows to even his own team.Over the course of almost five months I feel our relationship has grown.Minding the fact that we are constantly running into the Decepticons, and how Optimus must lead his brigade through battle, he still takes a little time for me. 

He places his servo over my back, which actually covers my entire body, and I lean into his touch.I know what he’s about to say, and I wish there was a way that I could extend a little more time together.

“We should return to base,” he says.

“Already?”

“Though I enjoy our time alone, with the loss of another relic to the Decepticons, we have to be alert.”

“I get it Optimus,” I smile at him.“It’s just nice for us to get away once in a while.It’s been hard to get any alone time at all.”

“I understand,” he hums.

I get up and jump off of him so he can turn back into his alt form.Once he’s done, I climb into the cab and strap in as he drives off back to base.I lean the seat back so I could lie down, but I turn sideways into the seat and curl up slightly as much as the seatbelt will allow me to.I was trying to envision myself lying next to Optimus, I wish there wasn’t such a big difference in size.I’m curious if there was a way either he can be my size or vice versa.I get the situation we’re in, but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t want to feel his arms around me once in a while.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks.

“I don’t know what do you think?” I smile sleepily.

I can feel him rev his engine acknowledging me, almost like he would hum.

“Why aren’t you calling Ratchet to open a ground bridge?He must be on standby waiting for your call.”

“I was trying to extend our evening together.”

I smile bashfully and pat his steering wheel.I wish I could make the travel more convenient because when we are out, Ratchet usually stays up waiting for us to come back then he opens a ground bridge.There’s got to be a way to activate the ground bridge remotely

“You’re too good to me Optimus.Is there something that maybe I could do for you?”

“I couldn’t ask for more.”

“You could, don’t be afraid to.”

Optimus fell silent after that, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.I lean back in my seat and I could feel the seatbelt hug me a little tighter, he was making an effort to hold me.When we arrive Ratchet was still by the main computer working on honing in on a new signal for a possible relic.I climb out of the cab and Optimus transforms.

“I thought you would’ve called?” Ratchet inquires.

“I’m sorry Ratchet, I took (Y/N) for a drive.”

“Hmph.Well the others are in recharge, I assume you’re staying here (Y/N)?”

“If it’s not too much trouble?Optimus was going to take me over to my base in the morning, I have to meet with my commander.”

“Ratchet you should get some rest, I will watch over the network,” Optimus offers.

“Alright Optimus,” Ratchet steps away.“Behave kids.”

I blush at Ratchet’s comments.What could we do anyways?

“He is something else.”

“Ratchet can be at times.”

Optimus lowers his servo so I can step on it, he raises me to his optic level.I reach out and place my hand on his cheek then lean in to press my forehead to his helm.Optimus closes his optics for a brief moment before pulling away.

“You too should get some rest,” he says.“You have a mission tomorrow don’t you?”

“Yeah, but I remember you talking with Ratchet earlier today that you also have a mission.I can call Fowler to pick me up, I don’t want to overwork you.”

“You don’t overwork me, I will be glad to take you.”

I lean down far enough to press my lips to his.Though the metal is cold to the touch, the spot where I kiss him radiates a comforting heat.

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

Optimus nods while placing me on the platform near the couch.I grab the blanket that sat on the back of the couch and made myself comfortable in order to fall to sleep.

***

“This is suicide Darby, what did Prime say about this?” Fowler scolds.

I finish loading my guns and strap them in the holsters. 

“Just get me close enough, I will be in and out.”

“This is too risky, I’m about to turn this jet around.”

“No you won’t, this is going to put us on equal ground as the ‘Cons.Just lie low until I radio you to pick me up.”

“This is dangerous—”

“Fowler!” I grip his shoulder.“This is our war as well.We are all soldiers in this.Optimus can find out about this later, I’ll tell him myself.”

He sighs heavily, I could almost see his eyes shifting wanting to abort this mission.However, we both know that we need to level this field.

“We’re closing in on the Nemesis, get ready.”

I place my helmet on my head then anticipate the oncoming ejector seat.Once we were in position Fowler launches me towards the Nemesis.I activate my magnetic grips, and attach successfully to the underbelly of the ship.Climbing my way up the ship, I locate an inseam of where a possible laser is located.Activating my electric circuits in my hand I punch the middle of the panel and short circuit the laser and rip it out of the way.Smirking to myself I climb through the hole until I find the entrance panel.

“I’m in.”

_“Be careful soldier.”_

Turning on my cloaking device I stealthily make my way through the Nemesis trying to find the science lab.I have to be careful of my cloaking device, it can’t hold forever, especially since it’s a prototype.A few Vehicons walk down the hallway and I stay off to the side trying to follow them closely, that is, until Starscream is thrown out of a nearby room colliding his frame onto the Vehicons.

“Starscream!!” Megatron’s voice bellows.“I give you one simple task, and you ruin it again!”

“P-please Master!I-I was trapped!I had no choice!”

I maneuver myself to slip by and into the room that I realized was the main bridge.Near the main computer was Soundwave decoding the archives.He is the one that is practically a walking remote control.I place a bomb near the door for precaution then tiptoe around the main computer and look for the hatch to get into the main frame.

***

“Optimus, can you hear me?” Ratchet asks.“Optimus!”

Optimus groans while rubbing his helm.

“Where are the others?”

“Everyone is fine,” Ratchet answers.“You saved their sparks by taking the brunt of the blast.”

Optimus tries to sit up but Ratchet halts him from going any further.

“You must rest Optimus, you were very badly wounded.”

“What about (Y/N)?I-I have to—”

“She will be fine Optimus, I will pick her up from the base myself.Fowler mentioned that she is currently busy at the moment.However, while you were in stasis I did add the new feature to your spark chamber that you requested.But Optimus, we can find other ways with the mass displacement system.”

“I understand Ratchet, but I wanted it done.”

“I know Optimus.Get some rest, I will check on you shortly.”

***

_“Darby do you read me?Darby respond!Darby!”_

I could hear Fowler calling me on my comm link, but if I made any sound, Soundwave would easily find me and most likely kill me.I was able to finally finish copying the data and set up bombs then click the timers.Now the trick is how do I get through the door without being noticed?Especially since Starscream re-entered the bridge obviously mad about whatever Megatron did to him.Honestly, the mech is a queen.

I approach the entrance to the main bridge looking for some way of having the door open; I don’t know how long I have left on this cloaking device.Heavy footsteps were approaching behind me and my heart dropped.I guess the cloaking device is spent.

“Well, well, well,” Starscream drawls.“What have we here Soundwave?”

Slowly I reach for my guns.

“I think we have a little fleshy infestation.Kill it!”

Turning around I shot my guns at their faces attempting to blind them.Starscream stumbles knocking into Soundwave sending them forward and allowing for the door to open.Rushing out of the main bridge I run down the corridors only to skid to a stop in front of a group of Vehicons.

“Scrap!”

The Vehicon’s form their blasters and start shooting at me making me retreat back the way I came but I am roadblocked by Starscream and Soundwave.

“Nowhere to run human,” Starscream sneers.

He takes aim with his rocket at the same time as I click the button to set off the bomb before the timer goes off.

**_KA—BOOM_ **

Chunks of metal fly by the area crashing against the ‘Cons, however I too was caught in the blast.A piece of the wall panelling hit me broadside and slams me into the opposite wall.The warning signs on my suit were flashing across the cracked screen of my visor, letting me know the damage of the suit, but also where it injured me.My left arm was broken at the forearm, and I think my leg was sprained; could be worse? 

_“Kshh—Dar…Darby!Kshh—D—opy?”_

Hitting my com link I respond quickly.

“Ready the hatch,” I grumble.

Feeling the rush of adrenaline, I push the debris from me with all my strength.Nearby I could hear the movement and grunts of Starscream.Seeing his blood red optics fixated on my form gave me incentive to run towards the holes created by the bombs.

“Stop her!!” he cries.

Other Vehicons get up and transform to catch up to my limping form.I could see the hole that led to the open sky when my warning sign flashes that my oxygen was dangerously low.Starscream and Soundwave were close behind shooting at me, and one laser hit near my foot sending me tumbling forward onto my broken arm.

“Gah!”

“You’re more trouble thank you’re worth human.”

Starscream stands above me aiming his rocket straight towards me; I was so close to the edge but my body was struggling to move.I could hear the power up of the rocket ready to launch, so I pull out my gun and shoot at the mount on the rocket sending it off course and into the ceiling above making mechanical parts fall on top of Starscream and Soundwave. 

The ripple of the blast was enough to push me through the hole that I was free falling, but now I was depleted of oxygen.I couldn’t gather my breath making my lungs burn painfully and my head fuzzy.I try to gain my skydive form, but it was too difficult.

_“Darby!Kssh—by!”_

_***_

“Alright Optimus, you are clear,” Ratchet confirms.

“Thank you.”

Optimus rises from the med berth to stand on his pedes.He flexes his shoulders getting used to the repairs Ratchet had performed.Now that he was back to normal he could go and pickup (Y/N) from the military base.

“Wow Optimus, you really took a number on that mission,” Raf comments.

“Yeah, but Bulkhead gave them ‘Cons payback!” Miko throws a few punches in the air like a boxer.

“Does (Y/N) know about what happened on the mission?” Jack asked.

“No, I need to pick her up from the military base,” Optimus answers.“It’s pretty late, it’s unlike her to not call by now.”

“She said something about a meeting with her commander,” Ratchet mentions.“She’s probably tied up and it gives you more time to think of how to explain what happened.”

“You’re right old friend.”

Before Optimus had a chance to ask Ratchet to activate the ground bridge, the elevator opens to a distraught Agent Fowler.He takes notice that the children are present but still catches the attention of the Autobots.

“Agent Fowler, this is unexpected,” Ratchet says.

“Yes, but an unexpected chain of events has happened.”

“Is this about (Y/N)?” Jack asks with worry in his words.

“What has occurred Agent Fowler?” Optimus questions.

“I think it’s best if you come with me to base Optimus.”

“Wait!Is she okay?!What’s going on Fowler?!” Jack urges.

“Jack,” Optimus interrupts, “I don’t think it’s wise to jump to conclusions.I will accompany Agent Fowler to the military base and report back once I find out the details.”

Optimus was masking his own worries with a strong front; he too was curious and concerned about what has happened to (Y/N). 

“We can take the ground bridge,” Optimus transforms into his alt form.“I’ll drive.”

***

Optimus and Agent Fowler arrive at the med bay in the military base after Fowler explains the mission that (Y/N)was assigned to complete and the aftermath.Optimus transforms back into his pede form then Fowler directs him which window to look into and tells him to wait until Fowler opens it. 

Optimus finds the window that Fowler mentioned and immediately his optic ridges widen in shock.There on the cot was (Y/N): arm wrapped in a cast and sling, leg raised with another cast wrapped around it up past her knee, bandages covering her beautiful face in various places.He rests his servo against the panelling on the window longing to reach (Y/N).

Fowler enters the room and goes over to open the window allowing Optimus to hear her soft breathing and the monitors surrounding her.

“(Y/N)’s stable for now,” Fowler explains.“When she fell from the ship, her suit was completely drained of oxygen so she blacked out until I was able to catch her and put a temporary mask on her.”

“Why was she assigned this mission without our knowledge?” Optimus’ voice drops an octave.“The Decepticons are not to be approached unless we are aware, as we agree to not expose ourselves to humans without permission.”

“(Y/N) insisted on doing this mission.She believed she could help gain information to turn the tide in our direction, without any of you getting hurt.”

“But at what cost?”

A silence falls over the two, the only sounds were the beeping of the monitors.Optimus’ optics fall expressing his sadness at seeing his sweetspark wounded so.

“I’ll leave you alone.I need to finish up a report and gather the information (Y/N) recovered.I’ll be back later.”

Fowler leaves the room letting Optimus have a moment alone with (Y/N).Optimus tries to reach into the window, but his servo was much too large to fit through the small window.Sighing to himself he settles to just stand there and watch over her as he ponders the days events.

***

A warmth sends a soft sensation through my unmoving body.It slowly pulls me out of the darkness and I realize that the warmth was coming from around my hand.My eyes were heavy but I open them to be met with a white light shining in my eyes.After a few blinks, feeling was coming back to me along with the pain. 

“(Y/N),” a deep voice speaks.

Trailing my eyes to the side I was met with the brightest blue eyes I’d ever seen.They watch me with concern and love.From his eyes, I notice the cobalt blue hair with a white streak in the middle, his face adjourns a styled-beard that meets at the chin.Glancing down his clothes consist of a red shirt and dark blue jeans.I don’t recognize this person, but the colors are so familiar and those eyes…

I try to speak but I couldn’t because of this oxygen mask on my face.Moving my head to try and remove the oxygen mask, the man carefully reaches over and helps to remove the mask so we can speak properly.

“Sweetspark?”

“O-Optimus?”

He nods while grasping my uninjured hand in both of his.He felt so real; how is this possible?

“How?You have a holoform?” I mumble.

“Actually it’s a protoform, more of a permanent solution rather than temporary.”

“Permanent solution?Y-you’re not…not an Autobot anymore?”

“I’ll explain it to you later.Right now, I’m more concerned with how you are feeling.”

“I’m fine, just a few bruises.”

“This,” he points, “are not a few bruises.Agent Fowler told me everything.”

“Oh,” I trail off.

Optimus takes my hand in his and strokes it with his thumb.

“(Y/N) why would you do something so dangerous?Especially without telling me?”

“Because I knew you would try to stop me.”

“You’re right I wouldn’t have.You know that type of mission is too dangerous—”

“I came back.”

“You almost didn’t.Boarding the Decepticon warship alone, and with prototype technology nearly got you killed.I could have prevented this.”

“I was trying to help you, I was trying to help all of us.”

“But at the cost of your life?Your structure can be repaired, but your life cannot be restored should you find yourself in the same predicament and this time the Decepticons are prepared.I mean…” he sighs heavily.“Do you know what it would do to me if I lost you?”

“Optimus…”

His opposite hand reaches over to caress my bandaged cheek.Optimus’ hands feel so good, he can actually touch me and comfort me.How is this possible?

“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you,” I mutter.“I just wanted to help gain the upper hand on the Decepticons.I don’t know if Fowler gave you—”

“I don’t care about what information you retrieved,” he interrupts.“I am grateful that you are willing to sacrifice your well-being for this cause, but I don’t want you to.I can’t watch you fall as I’ve watched many of my own fall to this war.”

“Optimus please understand that no matter what I’m going to help.I’m a soldier too: I’ve seen my share of warfare, watched people I cared for get hurt or die.I can’t just stand by and let you or the others get hurt if I could help it.I don’t want to lose you either Optimus.”

A deep hum rumbles in his chest. 

“I apologize, I just worry Sweetspark.More so than ever now that we are together.”

“I'm not as fragile as I look.Plus, aren’t you in the same position now that you’re human, or humanoid?”

“Something like that.”

Reaching up I place my hand on his cheek, it’s not like Arcee’s holoform where my hand would phase through the form, he’s solid and warm.Also, he’s easy on the eyes.Optimus smiles at me softly then leans forward and places his forehead against mine sharing a tender moment as we revel in a new closeness.

“So what do you think?”

“To feel you here with me, as a human, I couldn’t be happier.But why, what did you do to become human?Or have a protoform?”

“Basically, I merged a protoform with my spark creating a human form.It’s a permanent solution for our situation.”

“Permanent, and merging your spark?What does that do to you?”

“As long as my protoform is back in my pede form I can transform normally.This is now apart of me, so now I can be apart of you.”

“And you got mad at me for infiltrating the Nemesis,” I smile softly.“Putting yourself at risk to be with me, yeah doesn’t qualify for me being worried about you now.”

“So,” he slightly frowns.“You’re not impressed?”

Sliding my hand from his cheek to the back of his head, I tangle my hand in his navy locks and pull him down to kiss him properly.Optimus’ eyes widen in shock at first feeling him tense, but slowly he relaxes into the kiss.His hands rest against the bed on either side of my head as he delves in closer to deepen the kiss. 

I try to lean up into him but I felt the pain in my arm and torso, pulling away from the intense kiss and wincing as I ride out the pain.

“(Y/N)!”

“I-I’m fine,” I breathe. 

“Just a few bruises huh?”

“Damn grenades.”

“Grenades?”

“Uh I meant—”

“Tell me later,” he shakes his head.“Please get some rest, I’ll remain here.”

“Wait, don’t you have to go back to base?”

“Not tonight,” he smiles while rubbing my cheek, “I’m staying here.The others will be staying in tonight after the recon mission.”

“What recon mission—?”

“There is much we need to discuss tomorrow.”

I squint my eyes at him.

“You got hurt didn’t you?”

Optimus kisses me to silence anymore questions.He pulls away and takes my hand in his intertwining our fingers.Nothing needed to be said, we were here together and that’s all that matters.


	3. The Ex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone comes in to try and cause trouble between Optimus and his Sweetspark.

I take a handful of popcorn and munch on it while watching a random comedy.Currently, I have my legs sitting atop Optimus’ outstretched ones while leaning against his side.His arm tightens slightly around my waist as I cuddle further into his shoulder.This is the first date we’ve had in at least two months, with my recovery and the artifact hunts.Also a run in with Wheeljack was quite the party for Bulkhead.

Feeling playful I toss a random kernel at Optimus which earns me a chuckle.

“Now what was that for?”

“Just felt like it,” I shrug. 

Optimus picks up the kernel then pops it into his mouth instead of retaliating by throwing it back at me.I reach for another to try again but Optimus catches my hand and pulls me into a loving kiss which I don’t hesitate to return.Carding my hand through his hair I move my head to deepen then kiss, fully forgetting about the movie and just focusing on the man in front of me.

Optimus’ hands lock onto my waist and bring me fully into his lap allowing me to straddle his waist.I move my arms to wrap around his shoulders pressing closer to his chest with mine.Briefly I stop to pull away for air while trailing my hands over his broad shoulders.Optimus’ eyes travel over my face taking in my flushed features.

“I very much enjoy this,” he says. 

“I do too,” I press my forehead to his.“It’s much easier to kiss you when you are in your protoform.And be in your arms like this.”

He hums in agreement while placing another chaste kiss to my lips then kneading my hips.His ministrations elicit a heavy breath and a borderline moan from me to the point that I lightly dig my nails into his shoulders.

“Optimus…” I moan.

“Is…this alright?”

“Yeah, so much.”

“(Y/n)…” he hesitates.“I want to explore more, but I don’t want to push you into anything.”

Silencing him with another kiss, I smile against his lips, then pull away and back off of his lap.Am I a little frustrated, yes, but am I willing to get mad and cut our date short, no.

“We don’t have to do anything.I’m just glad we can relax and watch a movie together for a night.”

“Yes,” he scratches the back of his head while blushing, “this is nice.”

Again he settles his arm around my waist pulling me close into his side then places a kiss to my head.Feeling his warmth beside me it doesn’t take long before I start to nod off.

***

“We have locked onto another base for MECH and I’m going to need you to infiltrate their base, and make it disappear.”

“I’m ready to make some fireworks against MECH.Especially after them trying to blow up the train with Jack and Miko on it.”

“Now, you are not going in this one alone.I’ve called in for a partner for you.”

“With all due respect Fowler, I work better alone.”

“Unless you’re with Prime,” he smirks.

“We work well together,” I smile.“Especially kicking ‘Con aft.”

“Among other things too, I’m sure.”

“Alright enough Fowler.I don’t need a partner for this mission.”

“You don’t have a choice in this matter, especially since you are going under cover.I can’t risk you being spotted with Prime, MECH would tell who he is immediately.”

I rub my temple, “Who pray tell, is my partner?”

Fowler picks up the phone, “Send him in.”

He hangs up the phone then sits back in his chair and I cross my arms as we wait for this new ‘partner’ for me.There is a knock on the door and Fowler turns his head.

“Come in.”

The door opens and there stands a tall blonde man with light blue eyes, and a smug smirk on his face.My eyes narrow at his presence.

“Surprise!”

“Fowler,” I ignore the presence, “no.”

“Aww, what’s the matter Darby?” an arm lands on my shoulders.“Not happy to see me?”

I push him off, “Don’t touch me Philips!”

“Easy babe, take a breath.”

“I am not your babe!Don’t call me that!Fowler this is not happening, either let me do this by myself or find someone else because I refuse to work with Philips.”

“You don’t have a choice Darby, so I suggest you two get along like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

“Sorry Boss, this is more like a peanut butter and tuna sandwich right about now.They don’t go together and neither do we,” I stand up from my chair.“Take me off the mission if you want I don’t care.”

Not sparing either man a glance I storm out of the office and outside of the building.I could call Optimus to pick me up early, but I know he’s on a recon mission so I won’t bother him.I can take one of the Jeeps.

“Hey (Y/n) wait up!” I hear Philips call.

“Just keep walking (Y/n), just keep walking,” I coach myself.

As I open the door to the Jeep another hand closes the door.

“I just want to talk.”

“I have nothing to say to you Johnny.”

He places his back against the door.

“I’m not leaving until you at least talk to me.”

“What good will that do?I specifically told you that I wanted nothing to do with you ever again.Now get lost.”

“Look I know I hurt you, but that was in the past!Obviously you haven’t forgiven me after all this time.Can’t we just get past this and work together?”

“Move, or I’ll move you.”

“(Y/n) just,” he turns and runs his hand through his hair.“Please can we just talk?”

“We did, I am not working with you.”

I jump into the Jeep and start it up but Johnny stands in front of the car blocking me from driving off.Glaring at him I rev the engine in a threatening manner.

“You won’t run over me, so just talk to me!”

To prove my point I punch the gas then slam on the brakes making Johnny jump back fear eminent on his face.

“Try me.”

“Okay, okay, you need time to cool off I get it!Just think about it please!”

I gun it again and he jumps to the side allowing me to take off away from the base and towards the main road.I am not driving anywhere near the speed limit, too angry to even care if I get pulled over.All I want to do at this moment is get as far away from base as possible and maybe drown myself in alcohol. 

No, I need to focus on something else.I can’t fall back into my old ways, no matter how much it hurts right now.Sighing heavily I turn off the next on ramp and head out towards the Autobot base.

***

“Yeah!Gravedigger reigns supreme!” Miko cheers.

“It’s only the first round, Earthshaker is still in the running!” Rafael adds.

“Go Gravedigger!Woohoo!”

Pulling into the base I park the Jeep near the entrance, take breath, then get out to greet the others.The first one I am met with is Ratchet who is fussing over some new equipment.

“Afternoon Doc.”

“(Y/n)?You’re here early.”

“Needed some time off.Optimus and Arcee still out on recon?”

“Yes, there is a possible energon deposit in New Zealand and no signs of Decepticon activity.”

“Wow New Zealand, I bet it’s beautiful there.”

“Have you not been there on your travels?”

“You mean during deployment?Nah I was mostly in the Middle East, didn’t have much time for vacations.One day though, maybe I’ll go.”

“Hey (Y/n)!” Jack waves over from the lift.“Monster Truck Jam is on!You coming?”

“Yeah sure.Well, I’ll let you get back to work Ratchet, if you need help with something let me know.”

“I will, thank you.”

Smiling at Ratchet, I make my way over to the lift and join the kids in watching Monster Truck Jam.Miko is overly zealous in cheering for Gravedigger while Rafael is watching closely for Earthshaker to make a comeback.Bulkhead and Bumblebee watch intently while I curl up on the recliner and try to focus on the TV, but my mind keeps racing.I try to block out old memories of Johnny as best as I can slowly spacing out of reality.

“You alright coz?”

Jack’s voice pulls me back and I see him leaning against the railing near me while offering me a soda.I take the soda and open it while offering a small smile.

“Yeah I’m fine, nothing new.Just tired.”

“Fowler works you hard huh?”

“Sometimes, but it’s nice to be home instead of being deployed.Aunt June working late tonight?”

“Actually she’s home today, she’s been working too hard.”

“Yes she does.I’ll probably stop by tonight and check on her, we haven’t had a good talk in a while.”

“I think she’d like that.”

Suddenly, the whirling sound of the ground bridge opens up and both Optimus and Arcee walk through with confident smiles on their faces.Seeing Optimus happy makes me feel relief for the team because it looks like they have found an energon supply.

“I take it you found a source,” Ratchet asks.

“Yes we have, and we will need all hands to harvest the energon before Decepticons can find the mine and take it over.”

“Aww, but Gravedigger is about to go into freestyle!” Bulkhead complains.

“Bulkhead, come on.With you it will go faster,” Arcee beckons.

“Aww man!”

Chuckling to myself I watch as the team start filing out into the ground bridge.Optimus spots me curled up on the recliner and his optics widen but soon take a softer expression.

“(Y/n), I didn’t know you were here so soon.”

“Got out early today, I decided to drive myself.Good thing too since you all are going to be busy mining Energon.”

Optimus takes a step closer to the platform and I see his optics squint slightly at me.He noticed something is off but he hesitates in saying anything because of the others around.Something tells me though, we will probably have a discussion later.

Ratchet then clears his throat before either of us could say something.

“(Y/n) would you mind handling the ground bridge while I assist the others?”

“No,” I shake my head, “I don’t mind.You guys go ahead and mine the energon, and if need be I’ll take these guys home.”

“What why?” Miko complains.“It’s Friday, practically the weekend.”

“Thank you (Y/n), we shouldn’t be long.”

I nod at Ratchet then offer Optimus a small smile before all of the Autobots exit through the ground bridge to process energon.

“Alright guys who wants pizza?”

All hands raise up.

***

I open the ground bridge for the team to come back with spoils of Energon to load it into base.Thankfully it looks like a large enough load to last them for quite a while.I close the ground bridge as Bumblebee brings in the last load, but there’s a call coming in on the monitor.Unfortunately, it’s Fowler.

“Good Evening Agent Fowler,” Ratchet greets.

_“Evening Doc.I have a new mission that might require your assistance.Is Lieutenant Darby there?”_

“I know this man is not looking for me,” I groan under my breath.

“She is,” he answers.

“Aww come on Ratchet!” I exclaim.

The others notice my distress and I just try to make myself small in the chair so I don’t have to deal with what I have a feeling Fowler is about to do. 

_“I will be on my way down with the details and a visitor.”_

“A visitor?” Optimus questions.“Can they be trusted?”

_“He already knows, and we are already here.”_

“Oh God,” I mutter.

“We’ll see you in a moment then,” Ratchet hangs up the call.

I feel a knot in my stomach knowing that Fowler did this on purpose to possibly use Optimus to meet Philips and in a way force me to work with him.

“Is something the matter (Y/n)?” Optimus questions.

“I’ll be fine Optimus,” I don’t meet his optics.“Fowler is just going to tell you about this mission that I walked away from.”

“Hmm?”

The elevator opens and sure enough, there is Fowler with Philips following behind him.Philips looks around taking in the sight of five giant Cybertronians looking at him.

“Wow…”

“You get used to it.Team, this is Agent Philips; Philips this is Team Prime.”

All the autobots introduce themselves to him, and Optimus gives the small speech about what they are and the war between them and the Decepticons.

“Philips is here because we’ve caught wind of a MECH base operation and I need Philips and Darby to investigate.They need to infiltrate the ranks and possibly need assistance for an assault from you guys.”

“Don’t volunteer me for nothing!” I exclaim from my chair.

“Wait, Philips?” Jack questions.“As in Johnny Philips?”

“Hey, hey Jack!Long time no see!”

“Dude I can’t believe it!”

They share a bro hug and it immediately makes my blood boil.

“I haven’t seen you since you were this tall,” Philips jokes.“I remember when you used to dress up like a robot for Halloween, now you’re hanging out with them.”

“You know him?” Miko asks.

I walk over to try and intervene before something is said.

“Yeah he and (Y/n) used to—”

I grip Jack’s shoulder and pull him away from Philips while glaring.

“How about we not take a trip down memory lane?” I insist.

“Uh (Y/n), are you okay?” Jack asks.

“(Y/n) can we please just move past this?” Philips pleads.

“I did years ago, that does not mean I want anything to do with you.”

“Darby, this is not up for negotiation,” Fowler adds.

“Why are you pushing so hard to have us work together?I can’t stand the guy, and what, you bring him here in hope to have the Autobots or Jack convince me to work with him?You really are living a pipe dream.”

“Agent Fowler,” Optimus intervenes, “might I suggest that you consider (Y/n)’s distress.She is uncomfortable working with Agent Philips, and she probably has a good reason that she chooses to keep to herself.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t stress enough how important this mission is and I need my top agents on it.Also, I can’t have either of them spotted with one of you guys it would blow the operation.”

“Fowler, I either work alone or not at all,” I reiterate.“You cannot violate my rights by forcing me to work with someone I am not comfortable with.”

“(Y/n) we used to get along so well,” he slides his arms around my shoulders pulling me close.“All the good times, fun times, even those **real** fun times.”

“Get off of me,” I shove him away.

“Hey Philips, this isn’t a dating show.This is business.”

“Let’s drop it Fowler, (Y/n) obviously can’t grow up and that’s not what I call a top notch agent,” Philips crosses his arms over his chest.

“Excuse me?!”

“Uh oh,” Jack says while backing up slowly with the other kids.

“Who the hell do you think you are?!” I walk up and get in his face.“Coming in here thinking you can insult me when I have done more for this country and this team than any human would or could!Especially you!”

“You’re just acting this way because you are salty at how we ended!”

“Oh you’re so full of yourself, I was glad we ended!Especially after what you did to me!”

“Oh sure that’s it!I mess up one time and you hold it against me for the rest of my life!You probably just haven’t gotten laid since we were together!Right, no one’s dicked you do—”

He didn’t get to finish that sentence as my fist collides with the side of his face sending him over the railing lift.Blinded by rage, I jump down after him to land my boot on his face but he rolls out of the way just in time.

“Oi you two stop it!” Fowler orders.

“Damn,” Philips spits some blood out on the ground.“Still got a good right hook.”

I run at him and he dodges but I quickly sweep his making him crash onto his front.While he’s disoriented I pin him down with his hands behind his back then pull my gun and press it to the back of his head.

“Darby stop!”

I feel a hand grasp mine over the gun snapping me out of my daze.Next to me is Optimus in his protoform with a pleading expression on his face.

“Don’t,” he says calmly.“Especially not with the children here.”

Optimus’ voice reminds me of a deep sea of calm washing over me allowing me to release my hold on the gun which he takes out of my hand.He then helps me to stand up and I back away from Philips who groans in pain.I can’t even look up and meet the gazes of the other Autobots, or the kids, or Optimus.Instead I avoid their gaze then walk over to my Jeep, start it up, and drive away from the base.

“Aww man,” Miko complains.“We could’ve seen real blood and brains.”

“Not the time Miko,” Jack scolds.

“Ohh,” Philips struggles to get up.“She still hits hard.”

Optimus extends his hand towards Philips to help him up, however he is glaring hard at this man who dared to insult his sweetspark.Especially speaking of private things that no one in this room needed to hear.It was not in his nature to be hostile towards someone he just met, but this is man crossed a line.

“Thanks guy,” he nods.“Actually, uh, who are you?”

“Nobody important,” Optimus chooses not to disclose his protoform.

“Philips, you alright?”

“Yeah,” he cracks his jaw.

“Man she flipped you like a pancake,” Miko laughs.

“She seemed very upset, so I can see why she reacted the way she did,” Raf adds.

“Johnny, what’s the deal?” Jack questions.“What happened between you two?”

“Your cousin is just bitter,” he growls while getting up and making his way back to the lift.

Optimus’ protoform goes back into the cab of his alt mode then transforms into his pede form, not gaining attention from Philips.

“Perhaps it would be best if you leave Agent Fowler.There has been enough excitement for one day,” Ratchet suggests.“Given the circumstances.”

Fowler sighs heavily, “Fine.Philips let’s go, you have some explaining to do.”

“Not much to say.You gotta convince Miss Priss to get over our differences and just work with me.”

“Again you will explain everything later,” Fowler pushes Philips.“Prime do you think you can speak with Darby?”

“I will try, but I will not promise that she will agree to this mission with Agent Philips.If I may suggest, I can accompany her on this mission since we already have an established partnership.”

“I’ll think about it.See you later.”

Fowler leaves the base back through the elevator as Optimus leaves through the main entrance tunnel.Before he transforms Jack catches up to him.

“Optimus wait up!Are you sure you want to go after her right now?”

“Yes.(Y/n)’s outburst was a bit uncalled for, but she needs someone right now that will listen to her as Agent Fowler failed to.”

“Just be careful.I would hate for her to lose her mind like that again.”

“Don’t worry Jack, if anything goes wrong I will be sure to call your mother for assistance.Ratchet knows to call me if any Decepticon activity occurs.”

Nodding to each other Optimus transforms into his alt mode and drives off leaving Jack hopeful.

***

I shouldn’t be doing this, at all, but it feels right.In one hand I’m holding a Forget Me Not, acorn styled, aquamarine gem necklace with a silver quoted emblem, and the other a bottle of Jack Daniels.The moment I got home I grabbed the bottle, locked myself in my room, got into some comfortable clothes and started drinking. 

Seeing Philips again just triggered my depression.I’ve been able to suppress it for years, especially with focusing on my work in the army and as an agent; though from time to time it peaked it’s ugly head and I would isolate myself away to just cry and drink my sorrows away.It did get especially better when I started working with Team Prime, it made me happy and I felt accepted, not judged.

Taking another swig of the half empty bottle, I feel the familiar burn and warmth in my belly.It was helping to numb the pain as I absentmindedly rub my stomach.On top of that I felt guilty that I acted so rashly in front of the kids; I even pulled a gun on Philips and I was ready to shoot him with no regrets.What the hell is wrong with me?!

**Knock knock knock**

“(Y/n)?” Optimus’ baritone voice asks softly.“Are you in there?”

Why is he here?I don’t want him to see the pathetic mess that’s curled up on the floor with alcohol. 

“Sweetspark I know you are upset, but please don’t shut yourself away from me.I want to help you.”

“Please Optimus,” I choke out through tears.“P-please go home…I don’t want you to see me like this…”

I hear him hum softly before there is shuffling then a weight pressing against the door.Without having to see him, I know he is still here.

“Optimus…please don’t…”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t and I won’t leave you like this.I’ll stay here all night if I have to; you don’t have to speak to me, but I refuse to let you go through whatever you’re feeling alone.”

His words just make me cry harder into my pulled up knees.I’m so ashamed of myself, how can I face the man, the mech, that I love after I acted so foolishly?Why can’t he just let me wallow in sadness for one day…no, he’s too good for that.

Setting the bottle aside, I stand on wobbly legs to unlock my door then return to my spot on the floor.Optimus takes a moment before he walks in seeing me disheveled, dressed in only a tank top and short cut boy shorts, and a hand wrapped around my whisky bottle.Instead of turning away, Optimus decides to sit in front of me, legs outstretched on either side of me in a comfortable intimate manner.He leans forward to try and get a better look at my face, but I dip my head lower.

“Agent Philips did something to you in the past, didn’t he?”

“Mm-hm,” I nod.

“Was he your sparkmate?”

I stay silent for a moment, very hesitant to answer, but my mind is screaming at me to tell the truth.

“My ex-boyfriend yes…he hurt me so bad Optimus.”

“May I ask what he did to you?”

I go to bring the bottle up to my awaiting lips, but Optimus’ hand stops me.

“I think it best that you don’t drink anymore.It won’t make the pain go away.”

“But it numbs it.”

I lose my grip and Optimus takes the bottle away then reaches for my hand resting on my knees.

“I am here for you Sweetspark.”

“B-but I’m afraid you won’t be when I tell you.”

He raises my hand to his lips and places a soft kiss to the top of my hand.

“Do not underestimate my feelings for you.”

Taking a deep breath I look down to our connected hands and decide to tell him.

“Johnny and I practically grew up together.By the time we turned thirteen it was natural that we started dating like it was the most natural thing.We were so young and so dumb it was ridiculous.Well, when we became teenagers, I was trying to be book smart while Johnny wanted to be the wild child.We did have fun, we did have good times, but some of the decisions weren’t the greatest.”

My heart began racing with anxiety, I was about to expose some of my demons that I’ve been dealing with over the years.Optimus deserves an explanation, but I don’t know how long I can take going down memory lane.

“Go on,” he rubs my hand.

“Early on we started rebelling, partying, drinking, smoking pot, doing anything and everything.If he wanted to try it, we were both doing it.It wasn’t long before we started to become…we started having sex basically.Unfortunately, by the time I turned sixteen Johnny got me pregnant.”

“You were sparked?”

“I guess if that’s what you call it…and Johnny was not happy.Especially since I had to make changes in my life for my baby to be healthy.It was the first time that I stood up for myself against him.”

“So what happened?”

“After my first sonogram, I went to his house to show him the pictures.But when I got there…h-he was…”

The tears start to flow again this time a little harder, and I try to rub the tears away but they won’t stop.Optimus wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into his chest, my legs sit on top of his while his hands rub my back.

“I’m here,” he mumbles.“I’ve got you.”

“H-he was with another girl, w-who happened to be a friend of ours.I lost it, I-I started yelling and screaming then he hit me.When I tried to leave, he chased me into the car, and I drove away; the fight got physical and escalated that he grabbed the wheel…” the sobs came back as flashes of the lights came across my eyes.“All I saw was flashing lights…and the crashing sound of glass; I woke up…I woke up in a hospital bed…and all I heard was ‘you miscarried, the baby is gone, you lost the baby’.”

Sobbing harder I became hysterical as I grip onto Optimus’ shirt.My words came out as gibberish, I couldn’t get a straight word out.My heart ached for my loss, and it was all my fault.

“It w-was my fault!I’m so sorry!I couldn’t protect my baby!N-not even from him!I’m sorry sorry, s-so sorry!”

“Shh, it’s alright.It’s going to be alright.”

“H-how can you say that?” I cry.“After all of this…after what I did?How can you still be here?”

“Everyone makes mistakes in this life, it’s how you move forward.You were young, and afraid, but you tried to make things right.Your sparkling’s demise was not your fault, and I’m sure you would have been a wonderful carrier to them.”

“How can you see good in what I’ve done?”

He places his hands on my face then uses his thumbs to wipe my eyes.

“I see you, a woman who’s done many things, gone through ups and downs, warfare, and now fighting in an interstellar war along with us.You are also someone who has nearly sacrificed your life to save us; and I couldn’t think of someone else I could be lucky enough to share a love for.”

“You’re not ashamed of me…”

“No,” he shakes his head.“We all have our moments, this just happens to be yours.”

I wrap my arms around his shoulders hugging him tightly as he lets me continue to cry it out in his shoulder.For a long while I just sit there in his arms while he holds me close.When my sobbing dies down, I pull back to look at Optimus.

“Thank you Optimus…and I’m sorry you had to deal with me and see me like this.”

“I will always be here with you Sweetspark,” he kisses my forehead.“Is there anything you need?”

“Just you, please don’t leave me tonight…”

“As you wish.”

He lifts me into his arms then carries me to my bed tucking me in.

“Give me a moment, I will be right back.”

I nod softly while burying my face into the pillow and try to get comfortable.Optimus goes to grab the bottle of alcohol, and leave out of the room.I pick at the necklace that I wrapped around my wrist.Having someone actually listen to me about how I felt, and just letting me get it off my chest made me feel a little better. 

Optimus returns to the bedroom then sits down on the side of the bed.I reach for his hand and he intertwines our fingers.He then turns my hand around and rubs his thumb over the emblem.

“I may not hold you in my arms, but I will always hold you in my heart,” he reads.“Is this in remembrance of your sparkling?”

“Yeah, sometimes I think about what I could have had if I had them.”

“I believe you would have been a wonderful carrier.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

“Stay with me,” I tug his hand. 

Smiling at me Optimus pulls back the blankets to climb in next to me then I cuddle into his large chest.I enjoy that he is quite bigger than me because it makes me feel safe and less on edge.

“Are you comfortable?”

“So much,” I nod.

“I suggested to Agent Fowler that I accompany you on this upcoming mission instead of Agent Philips.”

“I would like that.I’m sorry about the things he said, especially in front of the kids.He has no filter, and I just reacted to shut him up.” 

“You don’t have to apologize, it is over.If Agent Philips tries to confront you again, I will handle him.”

The way Optimus’ voice dropped towards the end sent a shiver down my spine; he was willing to confront my ex in my place, protecting me.

“Get some rest, you have had a long day.I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

I lean my head up and place my lips against his in a chaste kiss.Though no words were said we were able to communicate our love for each other, and we remain wrapped in each other’s arms for the rest of the night.


End file.
